I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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