I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
