he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
