Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
