Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
