It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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