Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
