I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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