I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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