if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I forget how to act sober
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
