I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
