My room smells like vodka and shame
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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