just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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