ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Terrible idea I love it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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