Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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