I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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