I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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