Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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