Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i think i just lost a toe
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
