Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
