i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
