bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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