I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
