It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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