Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
