You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
