sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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