Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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