I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
