I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
