He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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