Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
