Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
