ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm passing your future prison.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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