bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
