After last night, I could never be a politician.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
