Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
