can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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