That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I believe in your delicious
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
