Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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