He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
