I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
