Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
