She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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