im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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