Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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