goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
