Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
