pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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