Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
