I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
