i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
