Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
my poor anus
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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